About The Author

As a child growing up in a small Ohio suburb, I was consumed with negative thinking. The death of two grandparents and my beloved dog, Teddy, all before I was twelve, left me with an unshakeable sense that each day may be my last.


A difficult home life, fueled by a rebellious attitude, led me down an endless path of self-destruction. Quaaludes, pot, alcohol, acid; you name it~ I did it! I blocked out the molestation in my early youth but the double rape I experienced as a runaway at age seventeen, shaped me for years to come.


At age eighteen, I left Ohio with an abusive boyfriend to pursue a life of sex, drugs and heavy metal, in Hollywood, CA. I stopped in Phoenix on the way and ended up staying for a couple of years. My boyfriend refused to work so I started stripping to support us. It was in the strip clubs of Phoenix that I found my new love, methamphetamine. Using meth gave me the ability to simply forget everything bad that ever happened & gave me grandiose thinking, like I was untouchable. It also gave me courage.


I ditched the abusive boyfriend and headed to Hollywood just after turning 21. A car accident left me unable to dance so I moved on to drug dealing, prostitution & ultimately found my niche in the sex industry as a dominatrix. My absolute need to control men and women made me perfect for the job. I liked the power and control people gave me as a dominatrix, and I was very good at it. I always thought I enjoyed my sex, drugs and rock-n-roll lifestyle while I was living it. But then, drugs had blurred my reality since I was twelve.


I had two female and three male lifestyle slaves for over 15 years. Constantly telling them what to do and when to do it eventually sucked the life right out of me. Secretly, I yearned to give control to someone else, for someone else to be in charge. I simply had no one I could trust, no one who wouldn’t abuse the power.


Finally, the 22 years of meth abuse began to fray the edges of my mind. At age forty, I checked into rehab.  That’s where I learned for the first time that I was an addict and that I would die that way. Hopelessness and fear consumed me.


I would spend the next two years in and out of rehabs, relapsing ever deeper into drugged depression. I learned about the twelve steps but couldn’t get past step three. The fourth step- the inventory of my life, was so completely devastating to me, I welcomed the escape drugs gave back to me.


Sobriety brought me diagnoses of Bi-Polar Disorder, PTSD (Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder) and ADHD(Attention Deficit- Hyperactive Disorder). I never felt so alone. My chronic relapsing left me with suicidal thoughts. Most of my internal agony came from misplaced confidence. As hard as I tried, I could not fully trust God to help me recover. I only trusted myself, and I always failed.


As a last ditch effort to maintain some type of sanity I decided to try something totally different. On Sept 20, 2008, I went to a Christian Women’s Conference, in Pasadena, CA, called Godchicks. I remember thinking, “Hey, I want to be a Godchick!” It was there I learned that I did not have to die an addict. I could be a New Creation in Christ; that ALL things could be made new. I learned that if I fully surrendered my life at the cross, Jesus would take away my addictions to sex & drugs FOREVER!


The truth would set me free! I took my life to the altar that day and prayed the sinner’s prayer. I have been free from sex & drug addictions ever since.


Peace flooded my soul. There was finally someone I could trust, someone who never abused His power. That one is Jesus. With His help I found the courage to face the truth about my past and move beyond it.


I have been attending Oasis Christian Center in Hollywood, CA for the last 5 years. Just as I had been 100% committed to my sex and drugs lifestyle, I made a decision to be 100% committed to Christianity. I am highly involved in building the house of God through serving on the Oasis audio team, attending connect groups and participating in a variety of recovery programs.


Treasures Ministry (a sex industry outreach ministry) has been an instrumental part of my recovery process. For several years I had the honor of being mentored through Treasures and participated in their recovery groups. They stood by me and helped me map out a new destiny for my life. Now, I personally mentor other girls who are walking out similar journeys.


It is and has always been my passion to tell stories. I love to encourage people, to help them overcome insurmountable obstacles. I believe in miracles because I am one! I learned long ago that what you think you are, you become. I used to believe I was worthless, unlovable, a bad girl, to be used and discarded. It is no accident that is what I became.


Now I know that I AM ROYALTY, the daughter of The Almighty King, and as such, I deserve to be treated with respect, love and dignity. I’ve learned my value is far above rubies and pearls. I know that I am a New Creation in Christ- the old things have passed away- ALL THINGS ARE NEW!


Dee - Dvine Roman